Mrs P and her tasty tart

I do love a good tart.

*snigger snigger*

You see, I’m laughing already. I really don’t think that my love of a good tart has much to do with food, really, more that I find the name an endless source of amusement.

Tart tart tart. here is Mrs. P, with her tasty tart. Would you like some tart? It’s a little bit spicy…

*combusts with mirth*

Childish giggling at the name aside, tarts, I find are awfully good for a spot of informal catering. They have that quality of being able to be brought to the table to rapturous applause (even if it is only in my head), and I find there really is something a little special about that.

I made this particular tart for a gathering of the families. We go to France together very early in the morning, and it was one last chance to prove that we aren’t all going to kill each other.

For the tart making, I even decamped the Little Pink Kitchen to the mother-in law’s Big Cream Kitchen.

A Big, Cream Kitchen, indeed.

I feel like I have cheated a little bit on you guys, and I am very sorry for the wrong I have done.

Rest assured I came home and gave all my lovely pink things a little stroke. I think they have forgiven me.

Maybe.

*crosses fingers*

I’ll report back on how the whole ‘family holiday’ thing goes in a week, once I have apologised to my kitchen for using a LITTLE FRENCH KITCHEN for a whole week.

For now, here is the tart I made for that dinner.

Firstly, I poured a glass of champagne, I was making champagne jelly and it would have been rude not to finish it off.

I then got a butternut squash. And laughed.

Because as well as finding the word ‘tart’ amusing, I also find butternut squashes highly amusing vegetables.

The fun never ends with me.

Honest.

After I composed myself, and took a swig of champagne, I peeled and chopped the butternut squash.

I suggest you do the same.

Both the champagne and the chopping.

Before putting it on to steam. I guess roasting the thing is an option, too. If you are feeling fancy.

I like to live out my fanciful whims through swigs of champagne, rather than butternut squashes, but I shall leave that decision to you.

Take a big bag of spinach.

To the gods of organic, free-range spinach, I am very sorry.

I bought a bag in Sainburys.

As well as cheating on my kitchen, I cheated on my morals.

Goodness only knows what will happen in France. It’s likely to be OFF THE HOOK, no matter.

Chop the evil, supermarket bought vegetable spinach…

And put it in a pan with some butter.

I forgot to take a picture of the butter, but rest assured, it’s there.

It usually is.

After it is all nicely cooked down, grate in a LOT of nutmeg, and add some salt and pepper if you are that way inclined.

Then put the spinach in a sieve, to drain out excess water.

By this stage, your butternut squash should be cooked.

Put it in a bowl and mash it up.

Mash it up goooooooood, baby.

Add some lovely spices, along with some salt.

And a big dollop of creme fraiche.

And then mix it all up.

Mix it up gooooooooood, baby.

Move kitchens to your mother-in-laws at this point if you really want.

But be sure to melt some butter.

Use the butter to grease a baking tray, before adding a sheet of filo pastry.

Then add more butter, and another sheet.

You want about 3 or 4 sheets of pastry.

Then add the drained spinach mixture.

Before laying yet another 3 or 4 sheets of pastry and butter.

Then, add the spiced squash mixture.

If you fancy it, a layer of feta or goat’s cheese would be delicious here, but there are some anti-cheese types in my family, so I didn’t bother.

Next time.

Top with another 3 or 4 layers of pastry and butter…

And then mark with a knife into portions.

Bake in a lovely hot oven until golden brown.

And then serve.

On a GREEN plate.

Honestly *shakes head*

And with that, I am off on my holibobs.

See you guys soon!

Spinach and butternut squash tart
Cooking time 1 hour. Serves 8.

2 packs filo pastry
1 butternut squash
260g pack spinach
150g butter
2 tbsps creme fraiche
Half a nutmeg
2 tbsps dried coriander
2 tbsps dried cumin
2 tsp ras el hanout
Salt and pepper

1. Peel and chop the squash, and steam until tender. This should take about 15 minutes.
2. Chop the spinach, and cook in a knob of the butter until wilted.
3. Grate in the nutmeg and add salt and pepper to taste.
4. Place in a sieve and press down, squeezing out excess water.
5. Once the squash is cooked, mash with the spices and creme fraiche, seasoning if necessary.
6. Melt the butter.
7. Brush the bottom of a baking tray, add a layer of filo, and totally cover with more butter.
8. Repeat until 3 layers are built up.
9. Add the spinach, covering with three more layers of butter and pastry.
10. Spread the butternut squash over the pastry, and then cover with three more layers of butter and pastry, finishing with butter.
11. Lightly score the tart into sections.
12. Bake at 180 degrees for 30 minutes, or until golden brown.

A quick supper

Since I’ve already told you guys I’m not an Italian mama, not, for that matter, an American mama, I figured this blog post might be dedicated to the fact the I am not an Indian mama.

I figured I could maybe start a series on the things I am not.

Ya know, I’m not mexican but here is my version of guacamole.

Or, I’m not that funny, so I made these whoopie pies because I figured the name would amuse my guests.

But then, I saw the light and realised you WOULD ALL DIE OF TERMINAL BOREDOM.

So I wised up and ate a doughnut.

And realised I am someone with a full-time job who sometimes just needs to come home and use up whatever is languishing in the fridge.

Its not authentic, but this curry used up what was in my fridge during one of those moments last week. It tasted really flipping amazing as well, so its a winner by me.

Its lovely by itself with naan bread, but would also be lovely as part of a wider curry feast, I reckon.

Enjoy!

I started with all my ingredients: potatoes, half a cauliflower, mustard seeds, turmeric, chickpeas, garam masala, coconut cream, ginger, garlic, chilli, oil, vegetable stock, spinach, onion, crikey, these Indian-inspired dishes take quite the ingredients list. I’m going to have to get me a wide-angle lens if I keep this up.

Anyways, no wide-angle lens required for a picture of ginger peeling, and that is how you start.

Peel the garlic, as well.

And hack the stalk off the chilli. If spice isn’t your thing, you could remove the seeds, too.

Then put all three in some kind of electrified chopping device *sings Grease songs about ELECTRIFYING*

Or, you could just use a knife.

Heat some oil in a pan. I used groundnut, but any kind of mild oil works. Promise.

Add your ELECTRIFIED bits and pieces.

Must talk sense. I’ll stop it with the ELECTRIFIED talk now.

ELECTRIFIED.

Clearly I can’t help myself. Sorry.

Add the mustard seeds…

And some turmeric.

Turn down the heat and let that all fry away, while you cut the onion into chunks. Add this to the pan.

Then break the cauliflower into small florets.

And peel and chop the potatoes into smallish dice.

Add both of these to the saucepan, along with some spinach.

I keep frozen spinach because I am actually Popeye, and love the stuff. If you want to use fresh, go right ahead.

Give the whole lot a good big stir….

Before adding some coconut cream…

And some vegetable stock.

Allow the pot to simmer away uncovered untill the vegetables are cooked.

Forget to take a picture.

Oops. Clearly I was not ELECTRIFIED.

Add the chickpeas and garam masala, and cook until the chickpeas are warmed through.

Serve.

Potato, cauliflower and chickpea curry
Serves 4. Cooking time 30 minutes.

5cm piece ginger
3-5 cloves garlic
1 green chilli
2 tbsp oil
1 onion
1/2 cauliflower
500g potatoes
300g frozen spinach
1 carton coconut cream
2 tsp mustard seeds
2 tsp turmeric
2 tsp garam masala
250ml vegetable stock

1. Peel the garlic and ginger and de-stalk the chilli. Chop finely.
2. Heat the oil in a pan and add the garlic, ginger and chilli.
3. Add the mustard seeds and turmeric and turn down the heat.
4. Peel and chop the onion and add to the pan.
5. Break the cauliflower into florets and peel and chop the potatoes.
6. Add to the pan, along with the spinach, coconut cream and vegetable stock.
7. Allow to simmer for about 15 minutes, until the potatoes are tender.
8. Add the garam masala and drained chickpeas, and cook for a few minutes to warm through.
9. Serve.