Heart attack sandwich

Here is usually the part where I tell you all a humourous anecdote about where the idea for a recipe came from.

This time, that isn’t going to happen.

No matter how humourous my anecdote would be, it would seem like I created this sandwich to be the WORLD’S MOST CALORIFIC DINNER.

No, seriously. I take an innocent sandwich. I add buttery, garlicky mushrooms (with extra butter). I add cream cheese (somehow thinking that ‘light’ will make it OK). And then I COAT IT IN EGG AND FRY IT.

Lardy as it may be, its delicious. I recommend trying it sometime soon. Have a salad the next day or something. It’s worth it.

Line up the ingredients. Note, that alongside the bread, mushrooms, egg, garlic, salt and pepper, there is a whole lotta lard; cream cheese, oil and butter. Embrace it. It is gonna taste gooooood.

Slice the mushrooms and set to one side.

Melt a heaped teaspoon of butter in a pan…

Grate some garlic. If you grate it, the garlic flavour is super strong, which I LOVE. If you don’t want to stink out your friends and family, just squash it, or use less, or something. I like the garlic, so your predicament is alien to me.

Add the garlic to the pan with the butter…

And then the mushrooms, along with some salt and pepper.

While the mushrooms are simmering down, slice the bread. Take a slightly out of focus picture…

And then spread with cream cheese.

Once your mushrooms are nicely cooked, place atop the cheese…

And top with the other slice of bread. Sort of squash it all down a bit. Squish squash.

Crack the egg into a bowl with some salt and pepper…

And whisk it well.

Before dipping the sandwich into it. Make sure the sandwich is totally covered. You want it eggy. Egg. Not on your face, but in your sandwich, as it were.

Heat some oil in a pan…

And fry the sandwich….

Turning halfway through.

Serve. With a salad, to salvage your soul.

Heart attack sandwich
Quantities serve 1. Cooking time 15 minutes.

2 slices bread
3 mushrooms
1 clove garlic
1 tsp butter
50g cream cheese
1 egg
Oil
Salt and pepper

1. Slice the mushrooms.
2. Grate the garlic.
3. Heat the butter in a pan, add the garlic.
4. Add the mushrooms and some salt and pepper and stir well.
5. While the mushrooms are cooking, slice the bread and spread the cream cheese.
6. Once the mushrooms have cooked, put on top of one of the slices of bread. Sandwich the other piece of bread on top. Squash.
7. Crack the egg into a bowl with some salt and pepper. Whisk well.
8. Dip the sandwich into the egg, making sure it is well coated.
9. Cover the base of a frying pan with oil and heat well.
10. Fry the sandwich for 3-4 minutes each side.
11. Serve.

A simple sort of supper

Ya see that nice little slightly messy spot, right there? Please ignore the horrible blinds inherited from the previous owners *save furiously for nice blinds*

Anyway, that spot is where I spent last night. Mr P is in Madrid (harumph) with work, and after a head-melting day, I needed a large glass of wine, a nice sit down and a simple supper for one.

Pasta is the obvious choice, and this is what I did with mine.

It’s actually enough for two, because I needed something to fill a lunchbox today. However, feel free to multiply and divide this recipe in whatever way you want. It’s less of a recipe, and more of a meal suggestion, if I’m quite honest, so do use the sauce to throw in those random vegetables that need used up. Midway through eating this, I decided a handful of frozen peas would have been nice.

Ah well, you live and learn.

We start with mushrooms, an onion, and some garlic.

Slice the onion…

Quarter the mushrooms…

And finely chop the garlic…

Heat some oil in a pan, and add the onions and garlic, allowing them to soften for a few minutes…

Add the mushrooms, and cook them for a few minutes.

Now, pour a glass of wine.

Oh, OK, pour another glass of wine, and this time its to add to the sauce.

Turn up the heat a little bit to reduce the sauce down. At this point I put on the kettle for the pasta, went upstairs, put on my yoga pants, took out my contact lenses and drunk some of that wine.

Once the kettle has boiled, it is time to cook the pasta. I used fancy stuffed ravioli here, but am rapidly coming to the conclusion that these filled pastas from the supermarket disappoint in every way. Next time, I’ll just use decent dried stuff, and put in on to boil while the onions are softening.

At this stage, the sauce pot should look something like this…

To this delightful mixture, we add a spoonful of cream cheese. The light stuff is fine in this dish, but full fat is how my local corner shop rolls. I’m OK with that, quite frankly.

This next picture was to show you that the cheese goes a bit lumpy when added to the sauce, but you can’t really see. Anyway, trust me, it goes a bit lumpy, but melts in eventually to make a lovely smooth sauce.

I promise.

Now, its time to add some seasoning to the sauce. A pinch of salt, a grind or two of pepper and a little nutmeg. Well, if you are me, a whole lot of nutmeg, because I love the stuff. And this supper was all about ME.

Drain the pasta. Don’t be lazy like me a grab the sieve instead of a colander because this laziness will come back and BITE YOU IN THE BUM when it comes to washing up. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, and thank goodness for dishwashers, that is all I’m saying.

Throw the pasta into the sauce.

Give it a nice bit stir, and serve.

Creamy mushroom pasta
Serves 2. Cooking time 10 minutes.

2 tbsp oil
1 onion
2 cloves garlic
200ml white wine
1 heaped tbsp cream cheese
300g pasta
Salt, pepper, and nutmeg

1. Heat the oil over a medium heat.
2. Slice the onions and finely chop the garlic, and add to the pot, stirring occasionally.
3. Quarter the mushrooms, and add these to the pan, too.
4. Add the wine, and turn up the heat a little to reduce.
5. Put the pasta on to cook.
6. When the wine has reduce to about a quarter of what was there before, stir in the cream cheese. Keep stirring until the cheese has melted and the sauce is smooth.
7. Season the sauce with salt, pepper and nutmeg.
8. Drain the pasta, and combine with the sauce.
9. Serve.